Haven't posted in such a long time. Committed blogger. 
I just never have time, in fact, I never have time for anything. Everything is so hard. Why do I have to learn about immigration and nuclear energy in french, why do I need to write a research paper for media, and why the fuck did I even take english language. 
On a better note two weeks today I will be in Paris again with Laura, for three days.We booked up so cheaply and then realised we are there on valentines day hehe.  Then I found out in June I'm going to Paris again with my French class.
I just keep thinking about university to get me through all of this year. And push myself because I know it will pay off. I've had an offer from Leeds Met, Sheffield and Manchester, just waiting to hear from Nottingham now. I wish they would hurry up though, because Leeds Met accommodation opens in two days, and I can't apply for it until I accept them as my firm choice. I'll end up living in a shit apartment with a crab man.
Everything else is nice. Me and Daniel made dreamcatchers and they turned out like surprisingly well. Urm so yeah, that's all, here is my dream catcher, and other things that are currently making me feel happy.

I need to English coursework but I can't be bothered. Me and Laura going to Lumière tonight and apparently it's nice so yey. 
Today at college was geek theme fancy dress for children in need, hardly any one dressed up unlike last year where almost every one did. Geek theme is lame.

Blues

sick of feeling like this, sick of feeling like absolute shit. I have no motivation, so emotional, feel so lonely a lot of the time. And the stupid thing is it's actually because of sixth form. It gets me down so much. I want these last months to go so fast I barely realise them, I hate that fucking place.
I feel  like crying when in reality I have absolutely nothing to cry about
I never have energy
drained
I don't go out because I honestly can't be bothered. Sitting here with a huge lump in my throat typing this. I feel like a dick but I can't help it.
Half seven on a Friday and I'm doing nothing again, my mam is going out as well so I'll just be sitting here all night alone, like a lot now because my mam is never in.
I just found some of my kittens toys which also upset me.
Everything is stressful, feel like I can't even take it.
Struggling with so much at the moment, I detest the dark nights as well, they make me feel even worse. I go out when it's dark and come in when it's dark, and the only thing I come in to is a shit load of fucking work.
Maybe I just need to get a grip.
I know probably everyone else feels like this, w/e, this is my blog and this is where I will write it. 
I know I'm complaining when in reality my life is good, but I hate it when people say that. Just because I'm not majorly suffering in life doesn't mean I don't have the right to feel upset. 
I can't be fucked for my driving lesson tomorrow
I wanna go to bed, at Dans, and sleep for the whole weekend not getting out of bed (bar peeing of course)
I can't even watch TV because my broadband is off

So yeah, to sum up, this is how I feel.

Finished another article, now I'm watching You, Me, and Dupree (guilty pleasure no regrets) while writing my next one. Also drinking Cherry cola which makes everything better of course

okay


I just ordered some shoes, and I love them so much I feel the need to share them with everyone in the entire world (or my zero follower blog....whatever.)

Altogether I saved 100 pound I love you office sale xxxxxxxx 

Absolutely swamped in work :( but I'm actually not going to leave all of my work until the end of the week this time. I came in on Friday from college and did ALL of my French holiday work, which took seven hours. Now after a lovely night with my boyfriend I'm going to get on and do my media work

My teachers must bask in my misery. I don't even understand what I need to do, I have a full digital media case study to do, which I've just realised is due back on the 2nd of November, I also have an essay to write, my magazine articles to write, all of my photographs to edit, a full English language study(because my first draft was shit), and my final personal statement to write. I want my UCAS sent off by the end of the week back to sixth form, so I can get on and revise for my January exams. I really want to do well, I know I'm capable just last year I fucked around, I spent to long dwelling on my new surroundings, and when my results came out as ACC I hated myself for it. So since September I've put so much work in, always staying on top of my studies, and I'm not going to lie it feels good.


I'm dreading re-drafting my language investigation, I have no interest in the subject any more, ever since I started school I loved English and was always one of the high achievers, but now I'm bored of it, which doesn't bode well for someone who needs to do a whole study centred around the subject. On a lighter note I'm enjoying media this year, being able to work independently is much better, on something that I love doing. I'm producing a niche magazine based on city travel, and the issue I'm making is based on Paris, as I have such an interest for French culture. It's good because it doesn't feel like work, I generally enjoy doing it. This is what I've done so far

so yes, thats it


Moving on......I'm so scared at the minute, excited, but scared. Like, university? It's me, I'm signing up for university, it's surreal, it makes my tummy feel funny. I've visited my choices: Leeds, Sheffield, and Leeds met. Leeds was nice, but I didn't feel that I fitted in, then Sheffield, Sheffield was perfect, I absolutely loved it, the grade boundaries are bbb though which is my prediction, but  it's a lot of pressure. Then this week I visited Leeds met, and I think its fantastic, I like it just as much as Sheffield, they have a course that I want to do that Sheffield doesn't offer, and the grade boundaries are lower. So Leeds met is my first choice now.


I think I've talked for long enough now, and like I say I have some work to do